"I wonder if you can hear it from where you are?"

YUI - Your Heaven

invisible - according to Loveless Dictionary 5.2th Edition is the state of being unseen, unnoticed and/or ignored.

ignored.

so pendek kata, ari tk ku rasa invisible. 'rasa', sbab ku pun x sure jwak la. yala, dh ska ngecik ati dkpn tek nk? but well. really. mcm knk ignore. ku xda salah pa2 pun ngan nya. rasanya. xda la nk? pi...ish. ntah eh. xpa la. last2 tdk ok jwak. perasaan jak li. apa2 pun, bnda ya ng soh ku x brapa nk btol la ari tk tek. (ya jwak dye molah andaian ntah pa2. tlg la. dh byk glak drama real life tk, xpyh la ku nk blakon skali. =__=)

still, bnda tk xda effect whatsoever ngan results test ari tk sbab preparation ng kurang or xda trus. most probably fail BAT. doc, sori.

God i miss my Lun. cpat la debate. mk klaka ngan nya gk! get well soon Q!

esok chem ngan PQS. gah. xda rupa jwak. debate. prepare speeches. abiskan bku Ning jwak.

rindu ngan Nino. lamak x cuddle oh Nino? nangga la mun rasa nk cuddle malam tk. kira nasib bait x knk tikam dbah katel bh Nino. da jwak terpike nk molah gya. x smpey ati jak.

so....12 days to go. wait, it's only been two days? *sigh*

"You're the sly one, after all."

YUI - Namidairo

14 days and counting; we'll see where this will lead us, okay?

tdk, nani mdh nya x penah nangga ku nangis. terkejut jwak. sbab mun ekot lam rami2 org lam klas ya aku should be one of the crybabies. just, yala, ng jarang la nangis lam klas. but then last year i had a breakdown time amin ngaja edmet. well, bkn ku nangis sbab nya ngaja edmet la. pathetic mena mun gya. haha. for some reasons yg some tauk, some x. x kisah la pa2 pun. pi ya fact yg ku ng pernah nangis in public. fify mdh time f2 nya da nangga ku nangis. ku x ingat pun. ari last f2 ya suma girls 2A pakat nangis pa suma pi aku ngan lun ilek jak. sapa ka tdk mdh ku da nangis time ari last pengetua dlok. hmm... ada ka? ku touching nangga poem ya ada la.

pi pa2 pun, i was a crybaby back then (sapa pat celen rekod nangis dri asar ke isyak x berenti? juh. haha.) , i am still one now. mostly nangis nangga cita jepon la sbab real life susah nk soh ku nangis. haha. pi recent tk kotan xda masa nangga cita jepon tek alu nangis ntam real life jwak lu. heh.

god. pa dingereco ku tk?

ku sa bgus ku tdo lok. palak dtg x btol la tk. ready esok knk lecture dye gk. i've done something worse than cutting my hair. haha. but seriously, i could have done something worse. she has to understand that.

esok mok bli roti rah mita gk. cyes nyaman. rasa nk keja lak bakery ndah lak. hee~

"Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?"

Keane - Is It Any Wonder

Is it any wonder I'm tired?

Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?

Is it any wonder I don't know what's right?

Oh, these days, after all the misery made,

Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?

Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?

lagu yg paling knk ngan ku time tk. even tho now tgh layan Cinta Dalam Hati. used to suka lagu ya a lot. lirik yg sgt....hit home. even now maseh suka actually, sbab lirik ya pun maseh hit home jwak. reminds me to mr doc very much; the song. i seriously wanna talk to him about how messed up my life is now and he can be all oprah-ish and cheer me up like always.

gmbr tk remind ku ngan nino. tdah nya jadi outcast; sorang2 mkn bamboo. xpa. at least x pyh share bh.

talking about nino, mlm tk nk mbak nya tdo awal. malam tk mek volunteer knk tinggal sorang2 ngan nino, syg. malas nk ngecik ati dkpn, and mujok dkpn gk psya. kepak.

"Say if my wish could come true..."

Akinishi Jin - Eternal

recently tears gland ku active balit. mlm tdk, well, ku nangis, for some reason. time ya tgh checking out what's up with my lun's man Jin tk jwak. and dgr this Eternal as well.

even tho i'm still butthurt with the whole Jin-leave-KAT-TUN stuffs, i still like him a lot. i mean, cdak lain, Ryo included, mainly making moneys. cdak x kisah what kind of music they're asked to sing, as long as cdak dapat polah and dapat duit, ok la ya. but Jin, he goes all the way nk molah pa yg nya maok. selfishly stubborn would be perfect to describe him but then, it's not like I am not, right? haha.

Eternal is one of the most beautiful songs I ever heard. maybe sbab Jin ng arguably the best singer in Johnny's. and lyrics are nice jwak.

posting the lyrics translation here. it is said that Jin wrote the it for a friend's wedding. how very the nice.

to my precious ones; especially you. aok, ktk yg polah mek nangis. ingat, kmk syg ktk; org lain syg ktk jwak, and you deserve every bit of us. hope you're okay now.

Akanishi Jin - Eternal

To like and dislike
It is not something that can be conveyed easily with words
Once a year, on this special day
Time and again, forever, closest to you

Your smile, and the very same gestures
Every single one of them are all my treasure

You're living with a smile
Just for that alone
It makes me so happy, warm and I feel that I could be gentle
You lights up my future

The warmth my mum gave me
It is wrapped in a large form of love
I'll take all of that and walk on
Showered by our many friend's gentleness
We messed up and fought...
But we learnt the happiness of understanding each other

Uncountable amount of memories
From this day on, let's create more of them

Say for example should I be borned on this world again
We will each meet again like this
And I will love you again like this

There are barriers we have to overcome
But no matter what happens
I'll be right next to you

Say if my wish could come true...
Would someone please cast magic on you so that
No tears of saddness would ever have to fall down your face

I'll live on together with you
With a beautiful smile and my head held high
I'll hold your hand, and we'll walk side by side
Such a future awaits us
Thank you for today

the song will be out on March 2nd (dye's birthday! =___=), his first solo single. debut in America on July 4th; his birthday and America's Independent Day. in recent interview, he admitted on not having a lover for 2-3 years (while yapping on his iPad), but he has someone he likes. when asked whether the person is a Japanese, he responded "no comment" cutely.

ookay. now. Bio. ugh.

"This could be the end of everything; so why don't we go, somewhere only we know?"

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

ever heard of secret base? kdak nk dalam game Pokemon ya eh. bez na mun da tmpt gya oh. tempat rahsia yg kta or org tertentu jak tauk. somewhere only we know.

it's only February 18 but it has been a tiring year already. i think not only to me. x tauk la org lain gney pi quite obvious jwak lam klas ku ya. health problems, and everything. perhaps it's the high expectation. maybe bukan dri parents ka teachers ka or anyone else, pi dri dirik mekorg pun. even kta x sdar actually yg kta nkah harapan yg sky-high tinggi ngan dirikpun. but then, it's not necessarily a bad thing. i mean, yala, mekorg 5E tek nk? pndey, serious, exam-oriented tek nk?

no offence intended, really. wait. maybe there is. depend la.

contoh is, say, Sal. Sal is always composed. even when klas dah abis, or belum start, nya sure ngan buku yg wide open. bak kata nya few years back, nya mok ngabis suma rah skul, lak rah umah nya pat men game. benda ya ng dh jadi common in almost four years ku jadi classmate nya. so when tadik ku nangga nya rah meja cikgu, head on the table, looking spaced out, it surprised me. mcm...x pernah nangga.

she denied me, tho. maybe mostly on makan rah school la coz cgek gk, nya jarang makan rah school. haha. part ya mek guro jak Sal, pernah mek nangga ktk mkn. mena2. haha.

as for me, there's no denying ng ku tired. dh biasa laid back, go with the flow jak. PMR pun gya. pi SPM ng sah xpat. go with the flow, and i'll flunk. nk jadi pa mun flunk? mun dh sure dpt jdi doc wifey tek xpa la jwak.

i'm tired, really. kdg2 jadi emotionally unstable. tdah ngan org yg salu jadi mangsa 'one-word-text' mun ku masok mood ya. tdah ngan ku mpun jwak coz bla masok mood ya, cure nya is sleep, so kerja ng alu x diagak. bkn hal study jak la. life in general.

the 'somewhere only we know'; there are times when i really want it to end. i think both of us had tried, tho. failed each time, and we are too tired to try again that we just go with the flow. well. what's the end. anyway?

crap. dh ngereco dh ku. haha. btw. lagu fave tk; Keane's Somewhere Only We Know. bez. lyrics nice. and and, rya jumpa tk rah kdey bku.

jumpa ya trus jak ambik gmbr and send to him. hee~ i want~ title nice, cover kck; the content couldn't be that bad nk? haha. lak la bli. haven't bought anything for myself recently.

talk about things bought for myself, ney tuju bracelet RYOANNE ya oh. syg bis ku ngan bnda ya eh. where where~

"If I had it all, life would be so boring."

YUI - Simply White

kita xkan dpt suma yg ktk mok lam dunia tk.

what an intro. haha.

tapi mena la nk oh? mun kta dh dpt suma, then pake apa idup gk.

"kta x leh jadi perfectionist eh.... ktk ingat dunia tk berpusin k ktk sorang?...in case ktk x tauk, dunia tk bkn consists of ktk duak awg jak"

things yg ku salu bisin ngan dye. haha. but well. mun nk kira degree of selfishness, ng aku pun tinggi gk dri anyone i know la. proof would be the one i am hugging right now; nino. haha.

jap. what is this entry supposed to be about tek ah? haha.

aok. things yg kta maok. things yg kta perlu. they are not usually the same. but then, they are not necessarily different jwak nk? that's how i see it, anyway.

"suma ktk maok ktk dapat bh. coba ktk biasa gk idup gya, dh 17 taun dh eh."

mizi said to me once. and what i wanted to say is "i wish." haha. pa yg nya pdh ya partly true, but then x suma. most of them aku dpt, yes. and others i don't. perhaps what i don't get is what i don't need. i mean, well, He loves me after all, right?

xpat imagine mun aku actually kaya; how spoiled i would turn out. even now, even when i wasn't born with silver (or any kind of) spoon in my mouth, i always end up wanting things to be done in my way. i think that's bad enough.

anyway, before ku ngereco pnjg2 hal pa ntah (ngrepak, bak kata org ya tek.) - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NANA~ haha. to be honest ku xingat b'day nya. banyak glak bnda lam mind duak tiga menjak tk. x teringat b'day org ndah. p sa nya nana x kisah pun ku x ingat ka x. komfom suk ati nya di wish izzul tek. izzul, izzul.... maok jwak nya wish tek. haha.

sumpah ku jeles. haha. kidding. or not. haha.

and...i think i need a F5 button in my life. for many various reasons.

"I wonder if it will heal even if I go to the hospital; is there any operation that heals uselessness?"

NEWS - Ichioku Sanzenman bun no Futari no Kiseki; Miracle of 2 out of 130 million people

adeh. sakit tekak.

seriously ari tk duak botol aek abis. thanks to bg afiq yg tlg supply aek sbab botol aek yg kiut ya ng agak kecik jwak. haha. brapa kali ndak ka gi toilet tek ka. ku jarang knk sakit tekak eh. jarang batok jwak. flu ng dh biasa glak. demam pun sama. p batok and sakit tekak tk ng...ntah la. bila last knk oh?

pi knek tk ng rami org x sehat. both my aunts are under quarantine. suspected influenza A ya. and my friends jwak.

klaka hal org sakit, the equation involved is anne = useless. sejujur-jujurnya mun da org sakit, anne should be the last person to be called for help. sbab ng seriously aku x tauk pa2. ngurut pun x pndey. mun stakat brik panadol ya boleh la. can't even say any nice words to calm them down. that's why mun da org sakit, even my own lun, biasanya ng i won't get involved. bkn coz ku x lalek ka, x bingong ka pa (heck. He knows how much i do everytime anything happen to my loves.) - because i'm useless, that's it.

and mun boleh xmk la ngeso uselessness ya nk oh?

i'm not healer in any way. even feelings; sweet words ain't my specialty. ku gk terer nyusah org, annoy org, "ngabis duit org", "ngecik ati dkpn", etc. pi yala. my family, my lun, my friends - i love them so f-ing damn much.

so hopefully someday, i'll graduate from being this useless. ameen.

"Thank you for your love..."

Hey Say JUMP - Thank You~Bokutachi Kara Kimi E~; Thank You~From Us To You~

today couldn't be a better day.

ookay. dh seminggu dh jadi a 17-year-old. xda perubahan glak pun eh. ku x mntk byk; mok makin tinggi ckit, mk makin pnde ckit jak. haha. kidding.

i'm going to thank hella lot of people in this post.

to HIM, The Most Gracious, Most Merciful - thanks for the gift of life and your Bless.

to mak ngan ayah - thanks for everything. and i mean everything.

to dani - thanks for being there so this sister of yours could say she's not a single child. lol.

to nenek, nek pak, usu, udak - makseh baju ya. kck.

to ngah, ngah laki, ekin, tikah, daus, luqman - makseh datang. makseh duit ya.

to mok, mok laki, nani, akip - makseh bju tdo ya. haha.

to cik sema, wa norman, iqa, ila, ida, arshad, afiq, aqil - makseh suma2 hadiah ya. haha.

to querida lun - mucho gracias for being the first one coming. and the teddy bear too. damn cute.

to dye - thanks for the penguin. xpala xpat brik bg haziq. at least penguin pat nkah atas katel. bg haziq ney pat. haha.

to eyzah - makseh datang even kepak ngan pengilan pa suma. baju ktk ng sepasang ngan bpk mek. sumpah. haha.

to ning - makseh for the set of scissors. lom tauk gk kmk pa nk dipolah kmk ngan bnda ya eh. haha.

to nad - thanks for the panda. ktk ng understanding mena la. haha.

to nasya - thanks for the shawl. lak la bila2 mek make nya ah. haha.

to mila ngan farah - makseh gengar ya. hee~

to nynie - makseh bantal ya. kaler oren. lak mek mbak mun da camping gk. hehe.

to pzah - makseh for bnda kaler oren yg suma org ska ya. haha.

to nana - makseh frame gmbr ya. pake mek nkah gmbr bg haziq. haha. kidding.

to fify - makseh coklat. lom makan gk. hehe.

to aziem - makseh botol aek yg suma org mdh kiut ya. ng kiut pun. haha.

to farah (wani) - makseh keychain ya. kck. knk ngan beg kmk. haha.

to mashi - thanks dtg. nemu jwak ktk baju yg boleh di pake tek oh. ahaha.

to eqha - thanks dtg jwak. ktk ng bez eh. sumpah. haha.

to nani - thanks for the panda bank. even xpat dtg. hee~

to dzatil - thanks datang. umah ktk jaoh bh. haha.

to miji - sankyu for the book. and sudoku jwak. still x puas ati kau x brik bku smbgn bku diberik kau last year ya. haha.

to app - makseh sbab datang...ahernya. haha.

to man - thanks for making it. makseh sbab molah umah ya kdak umah dkpn jwak. haha.

to mizi - makseh sbab sudi datang. i mean it; given it you didn't even wish me, boh mdh nk tyk mok adiah pa.haha.

to awang - thanks sbab brik seat. alu dok atas lantei alu nya. haha. thanks sbab tyk mok adiah pa jwak. hahaha. boys.

to amin - thanks for....apa oh? for coming la li. lain kali polah la bnda remarkable ckit. sng org nk mdh thanks. haha. aa, mek tauk. thanks coz x ngelua fail LPS out of nowhere and narit fify meeting rah umah kmk. haha.

to all yg wish - thanks glak2 very much mucho. haha.

ah, aok.

makseh, syg. kmk syg nya kdk mek syg ktk; x byk ney la mksdnya. haha. thanks again. for saving up your money and everything. thanks. hee. (and some credit goes to your kakak jwak. sanggup pegi test pelok pa suma gk. syg gk mek ngan kakak ktk dri ktk. haha.)

the name is nino, anyway. :)

to sum it all,without all these people, i am nothing.

btw, quite irrelevant in this post but the news makes me so happy that i cried so i'm mentioning it here anyway. my boys are debuting. Kis-My-Ft2 (pronounced : Kiss My Foot Two) is debuting. there goes all the money i'm saving up for their debut.

suma tk molah ku teringat ngan apa yg Sara Crewe pdh dalam A Little Princess. something along the lines, "I don't know if I'm lovable. If everyone gives the way to you and everything goes well, can you be anything else but lovable? Perhaps I'm a horrid kid, only people don't know it because I haven't got chance to show it."

these are not the exact lines, tho. but it's something like that.

it's hard not to love when you're so much loved.

indeed.

"Keep me in your memories..."

Linkin Park - Leave Out All the Rest

tdk check dashboard, ning da molah entry hal kawan. and nya crita hal aku, one of them. haha. ning syg, mek paling rapat ngan EMME kay? querida mek ya. twin jwak. dayang ya entertainer jak. haha. xdalah. thanks for the mention, nway. ^^

pasya scroll dbah gk, mila molah entry hal majlis birthday ku last sat. mil, thanks glak2~~ hee~

last week man molah entry KHAS pake aku; mdh maybe nya xpat dtg pa suma. but he did come. =) thanks a lot, bro.

ku syg suma kawan ku. sumpah. dedicating this to them ~

when my time comes, forget the wrongs that i've done; help me leave behind some reasons to be missed. don't resent me when you're feeling empty. keep me in your memories, leave out all the rest. leave out all the rest.

"This 'me' won't move from here..."

AKB48 - Sakura no Ki ni Narou; let's become a cherry blossom tree




it's 5 february.i'm 17 already.

cam bulak. haha.

mlm tdk tdo awal. ng seriously awal. before 10 sa nya. dah tiga malam xda mood glak. malam tdk sama jak la. so kol 9 lbeh dh atas katel, off the light, set hp ke silent and set alarm kol 4.00 coz byk keja lom cyap.

bgun kol 4 ya, nangga da 9 messages. hee~

bkak FB da berbelas noti. double hee~

mr doc x wish, tho. *sadface* he was online too. *sadface again* but he's okay now so that's good enough. best present ever, actually.

but then, that's too trivial to dampen my day. haha. bean (the name is abdul rahman hisyam, actually) dpt adik baru kol 3 pagi tdk so baby ya got the same birthday as me. wee~

plg2 2syen tek terkejut lam moto da duak ekok rabbit. well, anak rabbit la. gk kecik. damn kiut. cgek sorang mek duak dani. mine is yui. man brik nama. the other one dani christened browniez something but i'm going to call it man. haha.



yui is the soft brown one. x mk makan nya ya. man kuat da makan. haha.

tdk celebrate ngan family. tdah ku nangga yui duak man dikerja kazen2 ku. haha. esok ngan kawan gk. looking forward.

looking forward to my panda too.

so, it has been a good birthday. really.