"But you held your pride like you should've held me..."

Taylor Swift - The Story of Us

actually aku lupak phl aku choose line ya for the title sbab well, line ya agak xda kaitan dgn org yg bakal di mention dlm post tk. haha.

ah yes. org yg brik nino. the one i should dedicate the line, too. malam tdk nya masok lam mimpi. nya, ngan mak nya skali. ntah pahal pnde gi umah nya ndah tek lam mimpi ya tek. haha. mimpi mlm tdk plek. ada izzul. knk anok izzul for some reason. psya da dak rabbits and kazen2 ku suma. why? hahaha.

anyway. it's April 30th.

it's the birthday of two of my favourite people. cikgu favourite. and senior favourite.

the cikgu is mr lee hong leng, of course. and the senior is muhammad haziq roslan. yea, they share a same birthday (a fact told by the senior) and they share the same trait, too -unapproachable scary.

no, i'm kidding. lol.

the trait they share is - can attract people without any effort, according to ning and agreed by me. XD

so...nk crita hal the cikgu ka the senior tk? haha.

ckgu la dlok oh. XD

sir lee. first2 masok physics dlok ng x phm glak la ngan nya. cara nya ngaja. smpey wonder gney nya leh dpt anugerah guru cemerlang ya. i even sort of complained ngan mr doc and he gave advice along the lines "mun ktk x phm, tyk jak trus. mun ktk x tyk, nya alu assume ktk phm." so, since ya la anne jadi org yg paling banyak interact ngan sir lee. haha.

and yala, aku ska physics jwak bh. da org ya used to dpt highest mark for physics time nya form 4. and aku used to stalk klas 4E 2008 masok lab physics masa 3 ngan 4 ari slasa jwak. hoho. *bekas staker yg berjaya XD*

back to the topic. so knek tk, sir lee is one of my favourite teacher. kdg2 nya amusing jwak. and he gives wise opinions, too. and most importantly, he reminds me a lot of my doc. yala, birthday pun sama tek. haha.

okay, okay.

the senior. most referred lam blog tk as mr doc. it's a du'a, you see. so that he will actually become a doctor. haha. knal nya time form 1. sbab...haha, too private nk mdh rah ctk but it has something to do with nama nya yg dh xda gk ya. haha. had a crush on him time form 1 jwak. reason? he looked so impressive on the stage, giving a speech to end the usbu'. that's all - because he looked very damn impressive and the me at that time was like, "there's no fucking way i'll be able to talk in public like that".

rami org believe yg aku maseh suka ngan this senior. well. i would like to believe so, too. though actually mun "suka" ya equal to "mk jadi grk", bnda ya dh lmk dh abis. haha. but then, still "suka" ka ktk ngan someone ya bila ktk xpat nk "suka" org lain more than kta "suka" nya? haha. sbab yala, of course la aku dh crush lain lpas nya (e.g. little mr. fbi yg kiut! XD) but then gne2 pun, i still think he's the best, after all.

and i never regret liking him on the first place. in fact, i consider it as a blessing.

haha. actually nk, mun anne di mbak klaka hal this particular someone, ng sangat susah nk abis so better jangan continue ah. pnjg glak alu jadi post tk klak. sumpah. cyes tk. hahaha.

happy birthday to both of them, by the way!

ah yes. i wished the senior every year. tapi not this year. for some personal reason. haha. *manusia yg ska ngecik ati dkpn* hahaha.

*sigh*

i am supposed to get to revising bio but i suppose i would let myself drowned in the awesomeness of chad dylan cooper first. just finished downloading season 1 of sonny with a chance.

dan sesungguhnya anne ialah seorang yang tidak mengerti maksud 'priority', yea.

:D

"You saw me start to believe for the first time."

Taylor Swift - Mine

layan Swift-san again. kaki still a bit shaky. ari tk x gi skul sbab "nak rehat". sbab mun demam dtg gk time rah skul, xpat balit awal gk - have done that yesterday. better la rest rah umah. my bro advised so, too. so, i should have rest. ng tgh rest la tdk. but then yui ngan man the rabbit sgt bising rah lua. abis tumpah makanan dalam bekas ya. masa tgh isi aek lam bekas, man escaped. took me around half an hour nk masukkan balit nya dalam cage.

they say sweating is good to reduce fever. i agree, but my legs seems not to be up to it. shaky like hell when i got into the house.

man sure can run. or should i say, hop? well. moving fast, that's it. but well. it's man from 'firman', after all.

anyway. i wanna apologize. to my bro. for deliberately ignoring him last night. sangat, sangat sori, bro. seriously. it's the selfish me on last night. sebenar-benarnya, xda la terasa glak ngan nya marek. well. a bit. time physics ya. but then, it was nothing. i know he meant nothing. and later the eve, he caught me in the wrong time. it was selfish plus mischievous me at the time. and he got what he got.

sorry again, bro. i love you, too.

okay, cita hal bro abis ctk. next case.

dye slalu pdh aku kejam. and aku deny, each time. sbab sa nya aku x kejam. nk? i mean, x glak nk? haha.

yala. mun compare ngan those people yg invade countries, aku x kejam la. nk?

but well.

sometimes i do things i don't mean to. sometimes i do things not in a way it should be done.

i think i treated him wrong. correction : i treat him wrong. just it was worse at that particular time. to be honest, i couldn't get his expression at that time out of my mind. is that the expression people make when they are ditched? if it is, i wonder why anyone would ever want to ditch people.

no. x. aku x ditch sapa2.

nk?

the point is - i didn't mean to do that. i wanted to refuse, tapi bkn gya. i did it wrong. i'm sorry.

you must have imagined i would accept it with a smile, right? i'm sorry again.

but those two texts you sent me for these two nights, i appreciate them like you would never imagine.

hey, remember that photo we took together about 3 years ago? i wonder if there's any chance to find it again. to this date, it's the first and only photo of only two of us that got us smiling to the camera, you know. lol.

*sigh*

blog tk dibuat dgn harapan aku dapat rant dlm BM. peringatan utk diri sendiri. hahaha.

"Through the good times and bad times, I wanted to be everything you wished for..."

Porno Graffiti - EXIT

this song is kinda addictive. half the reason why i stay watching Taisetsu na Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta (All You Ever Taught Me is Precious Things) is because i want to listen to this song at the end of each episode. before i went and searched for its MP3, that's it. lol.

but i still watch Taisetsu na Koto, tho. even actually crita ya bkn my type. even setting rah school (sbab watak utama nya, duak org cikgu, sorang student), pi crita nya more to adult stuff. marriage, pregnancy, workplace pressure, etc. but then, well - all the story taught me is precious things.

lol.

the main lead, Kashiwagi Shuji (played by Miura Haruma) reminds me a lot to someone i know. they both are good at blaming themselves, accepting their mistakes. but then, they are also good at running away, letting others to make the decisions to make things right again. that is so tidak adil, you see. bila kita tauk kita salah, then be responsible.

i was never really in a relationship, as in the usual context of 'in relationship'. that's a f-ing truth. but i suppose i am right when i say in a relationship, girls make most decisions. because boys are like that - they hate complicated things (that are not maths. lol. applies to most boys).

so when Shuji said "i'm so sorry. you can decide about us," to his fiancée, Natsumi and she went "what do YOU want to do? do I always have to decide? YOU are the one who messed up!" - i was like, "NATSUMI FTW! GO DIE, SHUJI!"

lol. that's a bit exaggerating but well. i am with Natsumi all the way. really. do we always have to decide?

wait. maybe this is for normal girls like me and doesn't apply to oh-we-are-so-not-like-most-girls type of girls. so there.

so, pendek kata - even tho Islam angkat darjat female like it was never done before, male is still made as the leader. maka, sepatutnya la male yang decide. even when female's decision is better. sbab male pun should learn how to make better decision jwak bh. they're the leaders after all.

of course la, i'm speaking from my own point of view. because these things happen in real life. to me, to people around me.

another thing. in the term of nasihat-ing - actually xmk mention tk, sbab there was a case on this yg xda kaitan pun dgn the one i am about to mean, so sila jangan salah faham - kdg2 we have to see the situation. just because org ya salu buat salah, x semestinya that particular person buat salah all f-ing time. i mean, come on. what the heck.

we have to learn to see a white sheet with a dot, not a dot in a white sheet.

it's a nasihat for myself, more than anything else.

anyway, i'm looking forward to finishing Taisetsu na Koto. i wish Shuji ends up with Natsumi, even after all that. weird, huh? lol.

in one episode, Natsumi said, "a relationship wouldn't go well if one party loved the other too much. i think, i love you way too much, Shuji," and Shuji answered with "you think i don't love you as much as you do?"

i seriously don't know why i'm putting that in but well. i like it, and there shouldn't be any reason for liking, should there? XD

another precious thing Kashiwagi (Shuji)-sensei and Uemura (Natsumi)-sensei taught me.

puzzle makes a good door gift for a wedding, doesn't it?

lol.

random Anne is random~ ^o^

"Have you ever thought, just maybe..."

Taylor Swift - You Belong with Me

okay. boh tyk phl ku layan taylor swift knek tk. haha.

well. ku cita jak la oh. haha. unlike nad yg most probably dh hafal suma lagu si swift-san (pnde2 jak menge-san kan org. haha.) tk, i used to know only two songs of hers. yg salu main rah radio la. love story ngan fifteen. psya speak now come along, layan jwak speak now. setakat tiga ya jak la. then, alkisah nya pada suatu hari ketika saya dan peyra dan pat dan luq berkabung akan pengakhiran anime kimi ni todoke, luq posted a video on kazehaya-sawako, yg pake lagu the story of us. carik2 tek, swift-san pun duhal.

ceritanya - lagu the story of us itu agak hit home. it reminds me of the longest two weeks i've ever been through. sumpah. often when i listen to that song, i think "i should've found this song on that particular week and it could be the theme song." lol.

oleh sebab kerana (*chopchop* - bunyi language knk butcher.haha.) itulah, dtg rajin ndah weekend ya tek meng-download all three albums of swift-san. and discovered that, after all, aku x jwak lyn suma lagu nya tek. tapi some ya lekat jwak la.

contoh nya - you belong with me atas ya.

my lun likes the song as well. she insisted me to watch the video. and when i finally did this eve, it becomes the reason for this post. lol.

i love the song, really. the lyrics, well, kinda hit home, too. but not really. i mean, well, my sneakers are quite high-heeled. lol.

but the video is, i don't know, eye-opening? the message i got at the end of it is "if you want your so-called best boy friend to finally notice you and finally got the courage to confess his undying love to you (and ditch his bitchy girlfriend in the process), throw away your nerdy look, and dress up like you never did before." well, that, and this - "boys are jerks."

okay, not all but most.

pi seriously la. he could have confessed, could have shown her that piece of paper all this time. mpuan ya kira ok la, x brani confess sbab the guy is taken. pi the boy's action to confess time mpuan ya gi prom dgn dh kck tek molah ku sa cam "well. mun nya x kck gya, mun nya gk nerd tek, msti ko xkan confess nk? nk?"

and they ask me why i turn to contact lens and desperately want to lose weight.

x, no, bkn nk impress any of my existing male friends. bkn nk attract more either. for self-confidence, actually.

the point is, the saying 'don't judge a book by its cover' agak sukar untuk digunapakai. for boys and girls alike.

even for me, yea.

on side note, i miss my bro and i prefer him in red. =)

"I go back to December all the time..."

Taylor Swift - Back to December

"kmk ska anne ari tk. mek x ska anne marek," said Eqkha yesterday.

i only laughed but well, i don't like the-day-before-me, too. the day before, she told me, "anne.... boh antap glak ktk tensen," and i replied with, "aie. smpey la jwak kmk x leh tensen..." haha. but it's true. what's so wrong with it, right? lol.

i guess it's because everything shows in my face; if i'm happy, then i'm like =D all the way and if i'm not, i would be like....well, i can't find the right emote for it. like i've to fight against everyone in the world, i suppose.

but then, i'm not the type to say "yeah, i'm good" when asked "are you okay?" while actually eating my heart out. or at least, i'm not that type anymore. i lie quite a lot, white and not, but that particular lie needs so much energy that i'm not planning to do it often. last Thurs was a total no-no situation i would produce such lie.

i miss the me back in December. it wasn't the best phase in my life; in an angle, it was the worst. but these days i miss those days very much. i miss the me living them. if Eqkha could see me at the time, she would like it for sure.

it was something like summer fling for me. it doesn't fit the normal days, it has to end anyhow. so yea, inertia hurts, you know?

and i go back to December all the time.

oh well. it's not that bad. i still got Nino - the reason why i stay in bed every time i got the chance to these days. =)